


Not Just A Neighbor (Oh Hey There I'll Ring Your Bell)

by bestkeptsecret_biggestmistake



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Accidental Exhibitionism, Angst, Exhibitionism, M/M, Pining, Smut, Voyeurism, minor hints at clemmings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-03
Updated: 2016-12-05
Packaged: 2018-02-28 01:07:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 19,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2713337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bestkeptsecret_biggestmistake/pseuds/bestkeptsecret_biggestmistake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Vague Mrs. All American AU where Ashton is the hot single dad next door and Calum thinks having a crush on him is possibly the dumbest thing he’s ever done.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. January

**Author's Note:**

> Eternal thanks to Tayla for listening to me whine and inspiring me to keep writing and to Rachel for editing the mess I come up with.

Calum narrowed his eyes, neck protesting at the angle as he leaned back to search the departing flight board overhead.  He waited through at least three screen changes before he finally spotted what he was looking for.

_ Damn _ , he thought,  _ not even so much as an hour delay _ .  Beside him Michael let out a sigh of relief having just saw the same thing.  For Michael his flight being on time was excellent news, it meant he’d get to London on time and the record label would be able to send someone out to collect him rather than leaving him to find a taxi and find his new apartment on his own. For Calum it meant he wouldn’t get any extra time with his best friend before he took off half way round the world.

"Are you sure you have to go?" Calum let out a shaky, half-hearted chuckle as he buried his face against Michael’s neck.

“If I don’t go I’ll miss my flight!” Michael laughed, holding Calum tight.  

“Well we can’t have that.” Calum was proud of himself for keeping the sarcasm out of his voice.  

“You’ll be fine without me.” Michael seemed to be reassuring himself as much as Calum. “I’ll be home to visit before you know it. Maybe even for Christmas if all goes well.”

Calum nodded in reply, his resolve to not cry in the middle of the crowded airport rapidly dissipating.  He felt stupid for being so upset his best friend was leaving to chase his dreams. People rushed around them, a blur of colors and fragmented conversations. Calum couldn’t help but feel a little lost; like he and Michael were in a sea of people and while Michael was getting out, fighting his way upstream, Calum was sinking.

“You’ve got everything, right?” Calum asked, trying to distract himself. He furtively tried to think of anything Michael might have forgotten, anything Michael might need that would keep him home, with Calum, for just a little bit longer. “You’ve got all your chargers? Your outlet converters, your laptop, your coat? Oh my god! We left your gloves on your bed!”

“It’s alright,” Michael smiled, still refusing to break the hug. Calum took a deep breath with his nose still smushed against Michael’s neck. 

“I’m sure they sell gloves in England,” Michael went on. “And I’ll be in America not long after that; won’t even need the gloves in LA.”

Calum sighed in defeat. “I guess I need to let you go, then.”

“Probably,” Michael agreed. He gave Calum one final squeeze before releasing him. “It’s not goodbye forever, you know.”

“I know,” Calum chuckled. He let Michael drag him back into a final hug; fisted his hands in Michael’s shirt, relished in the way they fit together perfectly. He let himself wallow in the feeling for a moment before he remembered the time; remembered that no matter how much he wanted to he couldn’t keep Michael from boarding his flight. “Go on.” Calum pushed him toward security. “You’re gonna be late.”

Michael picked up his coat and carry on bag slowly. He paused to rearrange his hair, stalling for time. The way he dragged it out let Calum know he was just as scared to go as Calum was for him to leave. He stood with a ticket to another world in one hand, hesitation written all over his face.

“You’ll be okay,” The tremble in Michael’s voice made it more of a question.

“I’ll be fine. And you’ll be alright. Just promise not to forget all the little people when you’re a big time songwriter.” Calum tried not to let his insecurities leak in by trying to make it seem like a joke.

“You’re not little people,” Michael scolded, using his thumb to wipe a smudge off Calum’s face.  “You’re my best friend. Of course I won’t forget you.”

“Yeah alright,” Calum smiled and let the reassurance sink in; hoped it was true. “Go on then, go conquer the world or whatever.”

Michael smiled in response finally mustering up enough courage to walk away.

“Love you!” Calum called out after him.

“Love you, more!” He shouted over his shoulder.

The tear sliding down his face was quickly swept away before Michael could turn around from the security gates and see him.  He managed to pull on his best supportive face as Michael made it through, turning to give Calum an enthusiastic wave before he was out of sight.

Calum didn’t cry on the bus home, even though the thought was tempting. He leaned up against the glass choosing to ignore the city flying by in favor of closing his eyes and replaying his last few moments with Michael. It was easier now, knowing there wasn’t anything else he could do to keep his friend from going. Michael was thirty thousand feet in the air and his dreams were even higher. Calum knew he could do it, that Michael would make it big. Before he could doze off Calum opened his eyes, reentering the real world. He shook himself as the bus neared his stop; gathered up his bag and slipped in his headphones as he hopped off, blaring music to distract himself from feeling quite so pathetic.

He decided stuffing his hands in his pockets, observing the neighborhood around him with a sullen glare. Everything seemed colder and grayer already without Michael there. He was a little indignant that everyone else seemed to be going on with life as normal. Kids were playing outside enjoying the long days of summer break; running and screaming and overall way too happy for such a somber day. He could smell the telltale scents of barbecues wafting all along the neighborhood. Calum kicked at a rock on the sidewalk. It was as if no one realized they should all be in mourning, like they didn’t know Australia had just suffered such a great loss.

He was so caught up in his sulk he didn’t see the sign stuck in the middle of the lawn he was cutting through until it was too late. Calum shouted as he tumbled forward, wrist bending back painfully as he tried in vain to catch himself. He cringed at the pop it made, hoping it wasn’t broken. He glared at the bold ‘For Sale!’ sign through the blur of his tears. He should have known to watch out; he’d saw at the same sign every time he walked out his front door for months.

Picking himself up he staggered the remaining few steps to his house. Clutching his wrist, he cursed the sign, cursed the whole of Australia, really, for not being good enough to keep Michael home.


	2. April: Part One

Since Michael had taken off Calum had taken root. He’d all but secluded himself away from the world wallowing in his feelings for the first couple of weeks. He hadn’t thought rationally; he’d ignored his other friends’ worried texts and calls in favor of listening to sad playlist after sad playlist in the comfort of his room. It was Luke who eventually coaxed him back into the real world, even if it was begrudgingly. It still felt hollow, like a feeble attempt to appease his friend. Calum’s shoulders had sagged with relief when Luke was convinced he was well enough to leave on his own; downgrading the situation from emergency status to manageable. He’d been a step away from having to tie Luke down in the back of his parent’s van, alongside with what looked like at least half of Luke’s room, so that he’d actually make it to his new University before classes started.

He sighed again at the memory; mentally counting down the days until Luke would be home for winter break. The trip between Queensland and Sydney was too far and too expensive for Luke to make during the semester and even if he could’ve scraped up enough savings to get home, double majoring in law and economics kept him too busy to leave his studies for any length of time. Calum smiled a bit at the thought of not being alone so soon. Luke wasn’t Michael, but he’d do. 

"Calum, honey, it’s time to get up."

Calum groaned as his mother’s words floated upstairs, effectively breaking his resolve to lay in bed as long as humanly possible. He swore and he tried to chase back the dream he’d been having and lure himself back to sleep. As if sensing his reluctance, footsteps soon followed preceding his mother into the room.

“Come on, Calum. It’s time to get up. There’s a journalist coming by this afternoon about Mali-Koa.”

“What does that have to do with me?” Calum groaned, face planting in his pillow. 

“Well if you’re going to be like that you can leave the house until we’re done. We certainly don’t want the world to think the delay on her album release is because she’s having to deal with a jealous little brother.”

“I’m not jealous.” Calum pouted. “I’m just-“

“Moping,” she interjected.

“It was supposed to be the summer of Malum; the summer of bros! And he bailed,” Calum whined. It was a bit pathetic; he  _ knew  _ it was a bit pathetic. But his best friend was gone and it was like he could feel empty spaces around him that Michael where Michael should be. Instead of hanging out with his other friends that had stayed close to home for Uni or doing anything remotely productive he’d been in limbo, getting by on just the bare minimum. And maybe it was excessive but he and Michael had had these plans for  _ ages _ ; they’d take a year or so off after graduation to earn some money and fuck around a bit before they jumped into uni. But then Michael got the offer to go to London and write. Of course Calum didn’t blame him for taking it; Calum wasn’t a shitty friend. The timing just sucked a bit with all his friends going off to school so soon after, that’s all. He wasn’t used to being so alone.

“Honey, Michael's been gone for a while now.” Her tone softened as she leaned against the doorway. “I know you miss your best friend, but all this pouting isn’t healthy. You’ve got plenty of other friends, why don’t you spend more time with them? ”

“They’re all away at school, or busy with studying.” Calum complained.

“Well go make new friends then! You’re a friendly, handsome guy. It shouldn’t be a problem! Now get up, lazy bones,” she ordered, walking over and threatening to tug off his covers. “Take a shower and try to find something presentable to wear.”

Calum grumbled a reply but sat up in bed after she left the room closing the door behind her. He leaned forward to rest his head in his hands, letting out a heavy sigh.

His mom was right; he was moping.

Calum groaned as he threw the covers back and reluctantly rolled out of bed. He allowed himself an exaggerated stretch, standing on tip toes and smiling at the relief the pull of muscles gave him. He slid out of his boxers, letting them pool around his ankles and stepping out of them. He bent over searching under his bed until he found his phone. Having located it, he plugged it in and wiggled his hips as he turned up the speakers. If he had to get out of bed he needed something to boost his mood; and dancing to music always made his bones feel light and tugged the corners of his lip into a smile. 

Calum bopped around the room, narrowly avoiding tripping over his rug, and felt his spirits lift a bit. 

“ _ Where do we go from here?” _  Calum sang into his hair brush. “ _ Turn all the lights down now _ .” His smile was genuine as he gave the performance of a lifetime. The walls of his bedroom were replaced with a stadium full of people chanting his name. He sang his heart out imagining Luke and Michael next to him; they’d be the Blink of their generation. He sang on, trying to carry the melody and harmonies on his own and felt lighter and happier than he had in weeks.

When he turned to his dresser something out of the corner of his eye caught his attention. The hairbrush he was holding fell to the floor and his daydream faded away as he looked toward the window that faced the house next door.

“Oh honey, looks like the new neighbors are finally moving in! There’s a moving van out front,” Calum heard his father calling to his mother from downstairs. 

“Fuck.” Calum stood frozen as the wide-eyed neighbor stared back at him in shock. Heart hammering, Calum used one hand to cover himself and lunged forward, free hand nearly pulling down the window blinds in his haste to close them.

 


	3. April: Part Two

 

It was breakfast time in the Hood household and Calum was pretty sure the universe was out to get him.  Any other morning he’d be content to eat his food in his subdued morning moodiness and quietly perk up over a cup of coffee listening to his parents chatter.  But this morning, of all mornings, his parents chose to break routine.

"Mom, I can’t just waltz up to a stranger’s door and shove food at them. It’s fucking weird!" Calum protested.

“Calum! Language!” He ducked to avoid the thump his father was undoubtedly aiming at the back of his head as he joined his family at the breakfast table.

“Sorry Dad,” Calum apologized through a mouthful of pancakes. “It’s weird though, isn’t it? Tell mom it’s weird.”

“I don’t think it’s weird at all,” his father replied opening the paper, groaning as he glanced over the sports section. “Liverpool just can’t seem to pull through lately,” he glumly informed his family. “Another loss, another years dreams dashed.”

“See,” his mother replied choosing to ignore her husband’s football commentary. “It’s not weird at all. It’s neighborly. Just take the food next door, introduce yourself and chat for a bit! I’m sure the new neighbors will appreciate it, maybe you could even be friends!”

Calum thought back to the owl-like expression his neighbor had worn the previous morning.  _ Friends. Not likely. _

“Well why don’t  _ you  _ go and greet them then?” Calum suggested hopefully. “You’re loads better at stuff like that anyways, everyone loves you.”

“We already did, yesterday when they moved in.” Calum’s father replied.  Calum didn’t even try hiding his petulant sulk, letting his bottom lip poke out. 

“Such a nice man, he was so polite. He has the most adorable little boy even though he can’t be more than a few years older than Mali. And he’s a single father to boot.” His mom rattled on seemingly oblivious of Calum’s well perfected pout, much to his dismay.  “And he’s been unloading that truck for hours,  _ practically _ by himself; you could offer to help! Wouldn’t that be nice, son?”

Calum groaned, trying to think of a way to get out of it without admitting he’d given the new neighbor a peep show the morning before. Calum’s face heated up at the memory of it; how the stranger stood still in shock, how his eyes managed to roam over the full length of Calum’s body; how Calum could clearly see him from the words ‘oh shit’ before snapping out of it and turning away.  His heart raced just thinking about it.

“So you’ll do it then?” His mom’s voice brought him back to the present.

Calum whined, slumping down in his chair.

“How about this,” His father intervened. “You go over, introduce yourself and deliver whatever lovely dish your mother prepared to the new neighbor and we’ll give you a dollar for every sentence you manage to get out. Extra ten if you stay to help him unpack that moving truck.”

“Dad, I’m not a kid anymore.” Memories of his parents bribing him with money to talk when he was younger, a desperate measure to help him overcome his shyness, came flooding back full force making him feel even more insecure.

“Alright,” His father set aside the paper. “Five dollars a sentence, twenty to help. Hundred dollars max.”

Calum sulked knowing he needed the money too much to say no. He’d been trying to save up for a new guitar for weeks to no avail. His paycheck seemed to go just as fast as it came.

“Do I have to?” He hoped they would relent and he wouldn’t have to choose.

“You’re gonna do great, son,” His mother pushed a covered dish into his hands.

“But-,” He protested as she pulled him from his seat. He hadn’t expected to go just yet. He needed time to think of things to say, time to look presentable, time to move out and across the country.

“Remember, confidence is key! Fake it until you make it! You can always talk about the weather and sports!” His father called after him.

“I really don’t think this is the best idea.” Calum’s protests were ignored as he was pushed out of the house. He stared at the dish in his hands as his feet led him to the neighbor’s house. He threw a glare at the ‘SOLD!’ sign as he passed it, still not quite over the encounter with it that had left his wrist in a soft cast for weeks. Before he was ready, he was at the front door, silently cursing his apparent development of superhuman speed. He briefly wondered if he’d developed and other superpowers.  Maybe if he concentrated hard enough... With his eyes closed and brows furrowed he imagined himself turning invisible.

“Hello?”  A small voice interrupted him.

“Hello,” Calum opened his eyes to look at the boy in front of him who couldn't be more than five or six. “Can you see me?”

“Yes…” The boy replied hesitantly, giving Calum a skeptical stare. 

“Cash, what did I tell you about opening the door without me or Gran with you?”

Calum and the boy both jumped as footsteps rapidly approached from inside.

“Sorry, Dad!” The boy scurried back into the house behind his father, his interest in the weird man at the front door quickly forgotten in his haste. Calum gulped as he felt the heat of his neighbor’s stare on him.

“Oh,” His neighbor sounded surprised to see him.

Calum stared at the food in his hands and tried to swallow against the tightening of his throat.

“Hey,” he managed to croak out, feeling smaller than a bug as he switched his weight from one foot to the other. Without looking he was sure it was the same man from the incident that morning.  

“Hi,” his neighbor replied.

“My mum, uhm,” Calum fumbled.  “I live next door and my mum wanted me to- asked if I could bring this by.”

“Aw, thanks man. Tell her I said thank you. My mum will be jealous when she finds out neighborhood mums are already cooking for me and Cash; this is the fourth dish this morning.”

Calum envied the ease with which his neighbor spoke.

“Oh,” Calum awkwardly supplied. “I can take it back if you want?”

“Oh no, I didn’t mean it like that!” If Calum looked up he would see Ashton’s worried expression confirmed the sincerity of his tone. “We really appreciate it. I’m afraid my son got his appetite from me, this won’t last an hour, honestly,”

Calum nodded still looking down. He kicked himself for being thick. His neighbor was just trying to make conversation and Calum was crashing and burning.

“You can stay and eat with us if you’d like” Ashton offered. “My family’s over to help move everything in. I’m afraid the place is still quite naked though.”

Calum looked up at that, hyper aware of the choice of words. Instantly he regretted his decision when they made eye contact. His stomach flipped under his neighbors gaze, feeling more exposed fully clothed than he had with his cock out. He couldn’t hold back the hot waves of embarrassment that rolled over him, the shame of being turned on thinking about how this hot stranger had seen him in such an intimate moment; the thrill that he was obviously alluding to the incident with a teasing smile.

“I’m Ashton by the way,” He stuck out his hand.

Calum looked at it dumbly before shoving the dish into it instead.

“I’ve gotta go,” He mumbled turning tail and quickly walking back towards his house. He ignored the disappointed looks on his parents faces when he walked back in, knowing they’d probably observed the entire incident from the window in the kitchen.

“You owe me twenty bucks,” Calum called out, slinking back to his room. He ignored his parents encouraging words despite their good intentions. The bed groaned as he flopped down on it; waiting for the tension in his chest to ease. He ran over the recent events in his head like a movie on a loop, critiquing himself to the point his head hurt with it. Calum sighed as he got up, digging out his running shoes with the hope that a jog would clear his mind. He hesitated by the window, guilt settling in his stomach as he thought about opening the blinds a crack before changing.


	4. April: Part Three

 

 

A day later and Calum’s head was still buzzing with thoughts of Ashton.  He felt himself to be somehow off balance, almost physically thrown off by it, which was a precarious position to find himself in as he climbed onto the roof.  With one knee on the roof poised to push himself the rest of the way up his phone buzzed in his back pocket making him tense with surprise, barely resisting the urge to jump because of it. Swearing he hoisted himself up the rest of the way, rolling onto his back and fishing out his phone as the insistent buzz continued. His face lit up at the sight of Michael’s name flashing across the screen of his phone. As quickly as he could, Calum picked up the call.

“Luke says you’ve turned into a hermit.”

“Hello to you too, Mikey,” Calum scowled holding the phone up to his cheek.

“Hello, Calum,” Michael sighed. “Why do I have twenty million texts from Hemmings trying to bully me into checking in on you?”

“Since when does Luke bully anyone?” Calum scoffed.

“It was his version of bullying. You should’ve seen the emojis he’s been sending me. He’s not very pleased with me.” Michael laughed.

“He probably just misses you; that’s his excuse to talk to you.” Calum shivered as the night breeze picked up and the chilled April air tried to force him indoors.

“Why are your teeth chattering? Where are you?” Michael asked. 

“My teeth aren't chattering, but I’m on the roof,” Calum pushed himself up shifting to a more comfortable position, jeans scraping noisily over the gritty shingles. Automatically his tongue pushed into the space between where his teeth wanted so badly to grate together in distaste, a reaction the gritty sound triggered. As much as he hated the tactile issues with the roof he was thankful for the flat bit of area. Whenever he wanted to get away but couldn’t leave he’d squeeze out his bathroom window and step out into the secluded area the slope of the roof provided.

“You’re gonna fall off one day,” Michael admonished. “Don’t think you can get me to fly back early just because you maimed yourself or whatever.”

Calum was proud when his laugh came out genuine.

“You’ve thwarted my plan. Guess I’ll have to think of something else then.”

“Why didn’t you accept my facetime the other day?” Michael’s question caught Calum off guard. “And don’t tell me you were at work, I already asked your mom.”

“Didn’t want you to see how rugged and manly I’ve gotten since the last time we went away. Didn’t want you to get jealous.” Calum lied. 

“Mhmm,” Michael’s tone was laced with disbelief. “Now if you’re done dodging my questions; does this have anything to do with why is Luke so worried about you?”

Calum groaned and tilted his head back, trying to find the right thing to say.

“I was just a little distant with everyone for a while I guess,” He settled on. “I guess a couple people thought it was a big deal and got worried- I dunno. There’s not much to do without you here. Everybody’s gone and I’m just kind of… here.”

“Calum,” Michael huffed out a laugh. “Are you honestly feeling that sorry for yourself?”

“Hey,” Calum pouted. “I’m not feeling sorry for myself. And even if I was I’ve earned the right to today.”

“And why’s that?”

Calum braced himself for Michael’s reaction.

“So I kind of exposed myself to the neighbor.”

“The old lady next door? Calum what the fuck? You probably gave the poor old lady a heart attack. You sick, sick man.”

“God, no!” Calum’s nose scrunched up. “No, the new neighbor, on the other side.  I was in my room yesterday morning and I didn’t know he was moving in and my blinds were open and-“

“Were you having a wank?”

Calum could practically see the evil smirk on Michael’s face.

“Wha- no! I was just naked I wasn’t- No!”

“Do you wish you had been?” Michael asked.

“I- Michael what are you- I don’t need this kind of harassment! I’m up at this ungodly hour to talk to you and this is what I get?”

“Relax,” Michael giggled. “It was just a question.”

Calum gazed up at the stars as he fought back the flood of mental images caused by Michael’s suggestion. He couldn’t deny that he kind of wanted it; even with the humiliation of his first face-to-face counter with Ashton sitting hot in his stomach he couldn’t deny it. He wished he had been jerking off, wondering what Ashton would’ve thought seeing him hard; one hand wrapped around his cock, maybe even seeing his other hand slip further down teasing himself. He wished Ashton could see him like that; that he would want to watch him like that.

“Why are we still talking about me anyways; you’re the one half a world away,” Calum changed the subject. “Tell me all about it. What’s new since the last time we talked? Who’ve you been writing with? Have you come up with any new stuff?”

“I thought you’d never ask. Hang on let me find my guitar- I’m gonna play you something I was working on last night and you can tell me what you think. It’ll sound shit over the phone but you’ll get the idea.”

Calum laughed, eyes crinkling up as he listened to Michael stumbling around his apartment.

“It’s a bit of a downer,” Michael joked once he’d caught his breath.  “I’m gonna sit the phone down until I’m done so just- stay there.”

He didn’t have a chance to respond before Michael started playing. His smile was fond as the melody floated through the phone, tinny and rough but good nonetheless.

“Within a minute I was all packed up, I've got a ticket to another world, I don't wanna go, I don't wanna go.”

Calum closed his eyes as he listened, in awe of Michael’s ability once again. He tried to focus on the words as Michael continued, ready with suggestions if Michael asked for them. The sound cut off as Michael picked up the phone again.

“That’s all I’ve got so far. It’s rough but…” Michael’s voice held hints of doubts. 

“I think it’s sick,” Calum interrupted him.

“Honestly?” Michael asked.

“Duh. Luke will love it.” Calum smirked, waiting for Michael to take the bait.

“Do you think s- Hey! What does Luke have to do with this?” Michael tried his best to act offended.

“Dunno, Michael. What  _ does _  Luke have to do with this?”  The end of his sentence was taken over by an unexpected and unwelcome yawn.

“I think it’s your bed time. You’re getting delusional. You’re sleep deprived.”

Calum mentally kicked himself for yawning. Teasing Michael wasn’t fun if his body was going to turn on him right when he had Michael cornered.

“Go to bed Calum. Text me when you wake up though. And get out of your house for Christ’s sake. Make some new friends at work; go join a sports team or something. If I have to read one more text from Luke about you, and I quote “secluding yourself from the world” I'm going to hire someone to come kick your ass. I can probably do that now,” Michael threatened. 

“Are you mad because he’s talking about me? Are you jealous? You know I wouldn’t do that to you Michael.” Calums face stretched wide to make room for his mischievous grin. 

“Don’t you have a neighbor to wank in front of?”

“Goodnight, Michael.” Calum’s face heated up despite the cool breeze.

When Michael spoke his voice was much softer. 

“Goodnight, Calum. Love you.”

“Love you too.” Calum smiled as the line went dead. When he pocketed his phone, he felt lighter, happier; it felt like a tide was turning. Unlike before when his good mood would dissipate after a few hours, this time it felt like it would stick. For the first time in a while he felt genuinely happy; like everything would be all right.

Calum was still smiling as he stood up and carefully made his way back to the window. He faltered when he saw the light on in the house next door. Ashton was there at the window, squinting out in the night. Calum wasn’t sure if he could see him, but froze anyways. He held his breath as Ashton’s son ran in the room decked out in Spiderman pajamas and a trembling lower lip. While Ashton’s attention was diverted he slipped inside, closing the window behind him and telling himself the warm fuzzy feeling in his tummy was left over embarrassment. Not the first signs of a crush.

 


	5. May

Calum smiled as his phone shuffled to yet another great song, unknowingly bopping his head to the beat.

“Honey, have you seen Calum?” He heard his mother’s call from inside the house.

“Haven’t seen him since he got in from work last night. He must be out if he’s not in his room,” His father called back.

Calum held his breath as the door to his room opened, hoping his parents wouldn’t figure out where he was. Not that he wasn’t an adult who could make his own adult decisions; but he’d rather not face the wrath his mother would unleash on him if she found him on the roof. He let out the breath he’d been holding, shoulders draining of tension when he heard the click of the door closing and the faint sound of retreating footsteps. When he was sure it was safe, Calum slid in the earbud he’d left dangling, closing his eyes as he slipped back into the escape the music provided.

When he was alone and let the music surround him it was life the world melted away. As if he wasn’t Calum, and he wasn’t stuck in a small town; he wasn’t living with his parents while his friends were moving on with their life. He wasn’t delivering pizzas for a living and waiting for his life to sort itself out. For that small period of time he was weightless, unattached to anything, free to get lost in the music. He relaxed and melted into the lyrics, breath slowing and evening out as the heat from the sun caressed him, weighing down on him in the best way...

Suddenly, Calum  was waking up; not even aware of when he’d fallen asleep. His headphones fell out as he sat up and yawned, wincing when he saw the red tinge his skin had taken on. He frowned as he inspected the sunburn knowing how uncomfortable it’d be later on. A high pitched squeal sounded again, reminding Calum what had disturbed his unplanned nap.

“Dad, stop! That’s not how you play!”

Calum searched for the source of commotion, briefly scanning around before his eyes landed on Ashton’s backyard. Ashton was holding a soccer ball above his head while his son jumped up and attempted to knock it out of his hands.

“How do you know?” Ashton teased. “This is your first time; maybe this is exactly how you play!” Ashton attempted to spin the ball on one finger. When he failed the ball fell, causing both boys to chase after it.

Calum leaned forward to watch them, his chin resting on his hands and elbows perched on his knees. He felt a little guilty for spying on them until memories of Ashton seeing his naked one man rock show came flooding back. In comparison, watching his neighbors play soccer was nothing, he reasoned.

He had to fight back laughter as Cash asked his dad question after question about the game and Ashton bullshitted answer after answer. Calum would’ve been offended by Ashton's complete lack of knowledge for the game if it wasn’t so endearing to hear him bluffing his way through it.

Even from Calum’s perch he could read the skepticism in Cash’s raised brows when Ashton would give a particularly absurd answer.

“Are you sure you know what you’re talking about, dad?”

“Of course I do!” Ashton sounded offended. “You’ve seen my trophies at Gram’s house! I’m basically an expert.”

“Gram said they were just for being on the team; none of them said you’d won something.”

“Gram is just tricking you. Once you learn to read on your own you’ll see. Your old man could’ve played for any club in the world; I was basically a pro.”

Calum scoffed as Ashton attempted to dribble the ball.

“Why didn’t you then?” The little boy asked watching his dad’s feet with rapt attention.

“Cause I knew one day I was gonna have you, and I’d much rather hang out with you than play a silly game halfway across the world.”

“My mom’s halfway across the world though. Why is she allowed to be halfway across the world but you can’t?” Cash asked, sounding more curious than anything.

Calum could see the way Ashton tensed up; could practically feel the hurt radiating off him.

“Someone’s gotta look out for you, buddy. You’re getting big now though, you’re practically ready for your own place.”

“Daaad,” Cash laughed wrapping himself around his father’s leg. “I’m only five! You know that!”

“Oh that’s right,” Ashton attempted to walk with the boy wound around his leg like a koala. “When do you think you’ll be old enough to move out then?”

“I don’t know,” Cash’s tone was sincere. “Maybe when I’m thirty?”

“Sounds good,” Ashton reached down to ruffle his messy hair. “How about you go inside and get washed up, then we can go to Gram’s for a movie night.”

The boy sprang up immediately, snatching the ball and screeching as he ran into the house. Calum watched intently as his neighbor stood outside collecting himself before sighing and following his son inside.

Calum tried convincing himself his interest in the neighbor was totally natural. He ignored the stir of arousal in his gut when he thought of how Ashton’s muscles had looked glistening with sweat; he wasn’t getting the hots for the dad next-door.

He climbed back inside before he could do something stupid; like run over to Ashton’s and lick the sweat off him. Calum cringed at his own thoughts; disgusted at himself for being so nasty. He hadn’t been lying on his bed for a minute before his dad barged in with the vacuum.

“Oh,” he shut it off waiting for the noise to die down before he spoke again. “Damned thing is too loud; I didn’t even hear you come in. Where’ve you been all day? Wait- don’t tell me. The beach! Your mother's going to kill you for not using sunscreen.”

Calum simply smiled in response, hoping that he wasn’t lying by not correcting his dad.

“I’ll finish vacuuming the rest of the house; we’ll get your room later. No sense in you losing your hearing too.”

Calum chuckled as the rest of his dad complaints were drowned out by the whir of the machine starting up again. For the first time in a long time he was eager to go to work; more than ready to be distracted from his increasingly bothersome thoughts about the man next door. 


	6. July

 

The noise from the kitchen floating through the open doorway of the break room was usually enough to prevent Calum from thinking of anything more than scarfing down his meal before he was shoved back into his car to deliver pizza.  He’d develop a plan, come up with some sort of strategy for the most efficient way to eat as much of the free food without making himself miserable in the process, and that was that.  But the arrival of his new neighbor, things had changed.  Calum shifted in the unforgiving plastic seat with thoughts of his new neighbor bouncing around in his head.  He replayed his first meeting with Ashton over and over in his mind and tried to work out what Ashton must think of him. He’d seemed nice enough at first; he was very chatty which Calum admired. It had all been going so well until he’d started teasing him.

That’s what threw Calum; he couldn’t tell if it was friendly teasing or not. He hoped it was flirtatious, that Ashton had liked what he’d seen and wanted to make Calum blush. From everything he’d seen of his neighbor so far it was hard to imagine him as anything other than nice, but a little sliver of insecurity wormed its way in making him doubt himself.

Calum slumped against the wall of the break room, letting his head thump against it as he thought about it for the hundredth time. The heat from the ovens flooded in, making him tug at the collar of his shirt. He took a particularly vicious bite of pizza as he thought about the alternative. Maybe Ashton hadn’t been friendly at all; maybe he’d been making fun of Calum the whole time. Calum chewed slower as his mind sped up, over analyzing. What if Ashton had been laughing at him? What if he thought Calum had a funny-looking dick? Calum self consciously covered his crotch. He was fairly certain he had an average dick. He’d even thought it was pretty at times. He’d never gotten complaints from the girls he’d hooked up with in the past but it wasn’t like he’d had other dicks to compare it too.

 Calum felt sick with it, suddenly sure that had to be it. Ashton had seen his dick and been less than impressed, unable to resist teasing Calum about it.

“Calum? You alright in there?” His boss asked poking their head in the room.

“Yeah,” Calum coughed subtly relocating his hand to a less conspicuous location. “I’m good.”

“Good, cause your break was up five minutes ago. You’ve got deliveries to make! Hop to it! Remember, hunger waits for no delivery boy!”

Calum forced a smile and a salute scarfing down the last of his food. He cringed with regret as the dry crust of pizza made a torturously slow journey down as he reentered the kitchen. As quickly as he could manage, he grabbed his deliveries and slid out to the company car, determined not to think about his neighbor for the rest of the night.

He hadn’t even made it to his first delivery before his negative thoughts came wiggling back. He groaned and turned up the radio in an attempt to drown out his subconscious. His face lit up when he realized the song that was blaring through his speakers. He sang along with Tom Delonge, tapping out a beat on the steering wheel as he sped along.

He smiled wider after each delivery, the many attempts from middle aged housewives to hit on him giving him a boost of confidence. He’d entertained the thought before, letting someone lure him in the house, throwing the pizza aside and letting them have their way with him instead. The few times he’d had the opportunity he’d gotten too nervous, shaking off their seduction with a blush, a shy smile, and  an excuse to get him back to his car. He wasn’t completely inexperienced, but the possibility of being with someone older with more experience scared him a bit. Calum was competitive, he loved to excel. The thought of not measuring up in the bedroom was enough to keep him from trying anything that felt so taboo.

By the time he was making his last stop of the night, his mood had lifted considerably. He’d made enough in tips to fatten up his wallet and his ego had been boosted up a notch or two. All in all, he decided, it had been a great night.

He rang the doorbell at his last stop quickly, putting his hand back under the warmth of the pizza as he heard footsteps approaching.  It was cold enough he’d have to dig out his winter gloves soon enough.

“Pizza for Irwin.” His heart stopped as the door opened.

“Sorry, how much is it?”

Calum wondered what he could’ve possibly done to piss off the universe for it to put him through this again.

“Oh, hey,” Ashton chuckled finally looking up from his wallet. “Didn’t expect to see you here.”

“Yeah well, me neither,” Calum’s stomach twisted at being face to face with him again.

“Oh, yeah right. This is my mom’s house. We’re all watching a-”

“It’s gonna be twenty five ninety seven,” Calum interrupted him. He was mad. The more he let himself think about it the more upset he got. So what if Ashton had seen his dick and thought it was funny. It’s not like Calum had just whipped it out for him on purpose. And if Ashton didn’t like what he saw he didn’t have to be such an ass about it.

“Alright,” Ashton hesitated counting out his money. Calum handed over the pizzas in exchange trying not to shove Ashton with the force of it.

“Well,” Ashton smiled. “I guess I’ll be  _seeing_ you later?”

“Really?” Calum’s anger made him bold. “It was an accident; I didn't know anyone was watching me or else I wouldn't have-. I don’t know why you think it’s funny to keep making fun of me.” Calum’s chest was heaving trying to hold back tears. He was not going to give his hot, dickhead neighbor the satisfaction of seeing him cry.

“Dude,” Ashton looked shell shocked. “I’m not making fun of you?”

Calum glared at him in reply, disbelief clearly written across his face.

“Honestly,” Ashton sounded genuine. “I was just trying to lighten the mood; I promise I’m not making fun of you. I’m just trying to make a joke of it I guess. No, not like that!” Ashton caught the daggers Calum was staring at him. “I was just trying to joke about it so I didn’t feel like the creepy old voyeur next door, getting off on spying on hot, and probably barely legal, neighbors.”

“Oh...” Calum rubbed the back of his neck looking sheepish. “I thought you were doing it to embarrass me or whatever.”

“God, no!” Ashton let out a desperate laugh. “I promise I’m not an asshole. I just didn’t think before I spoke, I guess. Sorry.”

“It’s alright dude, I guess I better-”

 “Do you wanna come in and watch a movie with us? We’re just starting.” Ashton nodded inside the house.  For the first time all night Calum almost gave in and went into a customer’s house.

“That’s alright I’ve got to, uh,” Calum nodded to his uniform.

“Oh yeah, of course! You’re working, sorry. Another time, maybe?”

“Yeah, maybe,” Calum agreed.

He made it about a block before he realized Ashton had called him hot.  
  


	7. August

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promised I hadn't abandoned this story! Previous chapters have been heavily edited, updated, and altered for the better I believe. The last three chapters were taken down (which killed me because it erased almost 50 comments with it) but I think the chapters replacing will help fill in some gaps in the story that needed to be filled. Thanks to everyone still reading! xx

Calum had known he was into dudes for pretty much as long as he could remember.  Through his early high school years he tried to ignore it but with age and a lot of porn he’d finally accepted it as just another small piece of himself.  He was composed up of a million small facts he knew to be true.  Calum knew he loved soccer and mint chocolate chip ice cream.  He knew he was a romantic and lived for Green Day's music.  Calum knew he was pansexual.  He knew he liked dudes romantically and sexually and given the chance could see himself settling down with a guy just as much as he could picture himself with anyone else.  What Calum didn’t know was when he had started to get so turned on by the thought of being watched.  It wasn’t something always in him. he tried to assure himself, quick changes with his back turned in the locker room seemed proof enough that it wasn’t always there.  

 

But as Calum stared at the harsh winter light seeping between the cracks of his slightly opened blinds contradictions sprang up in his mind.  He liked being looked at and admired, there was no doubt about that.  Even though he considered himself shy and quiet he basked in attention like a cat in the sun.  When confronted with the unwelcome thought he conceded his speed in the locker room could have been cracked up to teenage insecurities rather than modesty.  The longer he thought about it the feebler Calum’s defense became.  

 

Frustrated at the way his own mind was betraying him Calum grabbed his laptop and opened up an incognito window.  A quick glance over his shoulder confirmed the door was firmly shut, the silence in the house confirmed his parents were still out.  His fingers hesitated just above the keys before giving in and typing a single word into the search engine. _Voyeur._

 

It was a word he’d heard before associated with situations where someone was being watched and got pleasure out of it. Scanning through the first few results he settled on the link for a dictionary definition.

 

_Voyeur: noun | voy·eur | one obtaining sexual gratification from observing unsuspecting individuals who are partly undressed, naked, or engaged in sexual acts._

 

Frowning, Calum went back to the search engine.  He definitely wasn’t a voyeur; nothing about sneaking to watch people get off particularly got him going.  Scrolling down he filtered through link after link trying to find something that would lead him to answers to questions that hadn’t fully formed in his mind.  The wrinkle between his brows deepened as fell further into the proverbial rabbit hole of the interweb.  Eventually he came across a term that made his features go lax, too focused on what he was reading to hold an expression. One word in particular jumped off the screen.   _Exhibitionist._

 

He could feel the light behind his window blinds struggling to break through the barrier and illuminate him in his glorious moment of realization.  He was totally an exhibitionist. Now that he had something concrete to search for he hurried back to the search engine and typed in his new label.  The first hit was from wikipedia.  His earlier frown snuck back as he read the articles details about mental disorders associated with it and the trauma exhibitionists could cause unsuspecting victims.  Calum didn’t have the desire to show himself to anyone who might not want to look or cause anyone discomfort, he only wanted to be looked at and admired.  

 

His mind immediately jumped to his first encounter with Ashton.  He had looked shocked of course, definitely surprised, but nothing in his expression indicated horror or foreshadowed any kind of trauma.  Ashton himself had said Calum was hot, that had to count for something.  Going back to his search he skipped a few pages back and found something more comforting.  The article he found spoke about consensual exhibitionism and fit Calum much better.  Tension he hadn’t realized he was holding eased from his shoulders.

 

He put his laptop back before he started having doubts.  The thick cushion of the carpet was a comfort to him as he made his way slowly toward the window that faced Ashton’s house.  For several minutes he stood in front of it; mind racing far too quickly for any thoughts to fully form.  After several deep breaths he let his hand come to rest on the blinds and take a peek through.  Calum squinted at the brightness that assaulted his eyes, trying to see past the light that temporarily blinded him.  When his sight returned he turned his attention to the room directly across from him.  

 

Ashton had left his blinds wide open and curtains drawn.  The room looked much different through the wide double window than the last time Calum had seen it, nearly four months ago.  White walls had been covered with a deep red paint, the bareness of them gone now that various musical instruments and pictures hung on the wall.  Calum could make out a four poster bed off to the side and a desk facing the window.  He wanted to see it all up close, wanted Ashton to show it to him and explain why his room was set up the way it was.  An unwelcome thought popped up; he wanted to get to know Ashton.  He wanted to get to know Ashton and thought he was cute and wanted Ashton to like him back.  He had a crush on his neighbor.

 

After another brief hesitation, Calum opened his blinds.  And nothing happened.  The sky didn’t fall, the internet police didn’t show up to haul him away. Outside his bedroom life seemed to be continuing just as it had before. Calum’s face lit up in victory.  

 

Just then Calum spotted Ashton’s car pulling in the driveway.  Calum watched as Ashton walked up the path to the house and saw the moment Ashton spotted him.  His heart stopped before going to double time. The raise of Ashton’s brows indicated it was clearly a surprise.  The initial look had seemed habitual, like maybe he’d been glancing up at Calum’s window out of habit.  Calum hoped that was the case anyways.  Ashton quickly recovered from the surprise and offered Calum a wide smile and a wave.  Calum belatedly returned it, heart still hammering against his chest.  As soon as Ashton made it into the house Calum darted to the bathroom, courage receding at the thought of Ashton going straight upstairs and closing his blinds after seeing Calum’s open.

 

Hands pressed against the cold reassuring solidity of the sink Calum hung his head and tried to breathe.  He was so fucked.

 

“What the _hell_ were you thinking?” He asked looking up at his reflection. “What the actual _fuck.”_ Calum let his head fall down again.

 

“Calum?” His mom’s voice came from just behind the door.

 

“Oh my _god,_ ” Calum groaned.  Apparently his parents weren’t still out.

 

“What was that hun?” His mom asked.

 

“Not now mom,” Calum whined.

 

“Oh. _Oh._ Sorry, Cal I’ll just. I was just letting you know dad and I were back but. Nevermind. Wash your hands when you’re done.”

 

Calum looked at the door in confusion until he realized what his mom meant.  She thought he was having _alone time._

 

“Mom, no I’m just getting ready to take a shower.” Calum’s face turned cherry red at his mom’s assumption.

 

“Alright hun. Just wash your hands when- after your shower.”  Her tone still held something Calum didn’t want to acknowledge.  To prove his point he started the water for a shower even though he hadn’t been planning on actually taking one.  Once the water was running it seemed smart to work in a quick shower.  The water cascading over him helped bring back reason.  When he’d opened the blinds nothing had changed. Other than Ashton noticing, nothing had changed. And even that wasn’t as monumental as Calum had first thought; in fact, it might even be a good thing. Now that Ashton knew he could react accordingly in a way that let Calum know what he wanted.  If he kept his blinds open it was a green light for Calum to test the waters.  If the blinds were closed Calum would have to suck it up and deal with the rejection.

 

“Alright,” Calum told his steamy reflection once he’d finished and returned to the mirror. “You’ve got this. You can handle this.”  His foggy likeness mirrored his nod. Towel tucked securely around his waist with trails of water still mapping their way down his skin Calum opened the bathroom door and stepped out into the bedroom. His eyes automatically made their way to the open window.  There across the way, Ashton sat at his desk staring off into the distance strumming his guitar.  As if he could feel Calum’s eyes on him his attention focused on Calum.  He looked pleasantly surprised to see Calum, a cat-like grin slowly took over his face and he gave an exaggerated wink.  The heat from Calum’s face spread down his chest and all the way to the soles of his feet, thawing his feet that had seemed frozen in place.  Quickly, he grabbed a pair of sweats from the edge of his bed.  He stopped briefly when he felt the towel slip infinitesimally.   

 

_He could just let it fall all on it’s own, act like it was an accident._

 

“Calum? Are you finished up then?  Your mother’s sent me up to tell you dinners ready.  She seemed afraid to come fetch you herself.”  Calum’s dad chuckled, leaning against the doorway.

 

“Jesus Christ!” Calum’s hand flew to grab the slipping towel, holding onto it like a lifeline.

 

“No, just dad! Come on then, lad.” He looked thoughtful. “Would you look at that! I’m a poet and didn’t even know it!”

 

Calum groaned.

 

“Give me five minutes, dad.  I need to get dressed.” Calum held up the pants as evidence.

 

“Well won’t that be a nice first.  Hurry up, then.”  His dad smirked.

 

Calum waited until his dad was out of sight and the door closed and locked behind him before turning back to Ashton.  He wasn’t at his desk any more, Calum couldn’t spot him in the room at all.  Or the chair for that matter.  Then, suddenly, a mop of curls appeared as Ashton rose up off the floor with considerable effort.  When Calum could finally see his face he realized it was as red as Calum’s own, streaked with tears of laughter. Ashton picked up the fallen chair and his body continued to shake with laughter.  

 

“Sorry,” Ashton had the decency to mouth.  

 

Nearly dying of embarrassment Calum gave his coolest shrug and smirk he could manage under the circumstances and returned to the safety of the bathroom to change.  When he came out he didn’t shut his blinds.

  
_Baby steps_ , he told himself. _Baby steps._


	8. September

It was as if time had sped back up after that; the creeping pace it had rambled on at for months suddenly picked up, racing on at a dizzying speed.  Spring had arrived and with it Spring Vacation and a very tired Luke.  He was determined to get Calum out of the house, spending the first few days of his school break dragging Calum around Sydney seeing all the city had to offer.  Day four hit and the exhaustion finally caught up to Luke but couldn’t deter him from canceling the shopping trip he had planned.  Calum could hear his yawning through the door of the dressing room and smiled.  Michael was his Best Friend but Luke was probably the best friend either of them could ask for.  

“You doing alright out there?” Calum’s smirk leaked into his tone.  

“Fine and dandy,” Luke replied brightly. “Have you tried on any of the clothes I gave you yet?”

Calum turned to the side, cocking his head and taking in his appearance in the mirror.

“I told you, I’m not a ‘skinny jean’ kind of guy.” Calum sounded uncertain. He examined the jeans Luke had picked out closely.  They weren’t nearly as uncomfortable as he’d expected; his balls didn’t feel like they were in danger of being smothered to death anytime soon, but.  They were just so  _ tight. _  He turned again, body facing away from the mirror, and looked over his shoulder to his reflection.  Maybe tight wasn’t so bad after all; his ass looked pretty fantastic under the cling of the blue denim.

“Calum,” Luke sighed. “I have literally never met a more skinny-jean-person than you.  Just trust me.”

One final turn and Calum finally stepped out of the dressing room.  

“I don’t know,” Calum repeated walking over to Luke for his inspection.  “Are they supposed to be this tight?  I don’t feel like they should be this tight.  This looks like something Mali would wear.”

Luke rolled his eyes.  “That’s because your sister has excellent fashion sense, unlike you.  And yes, they’re supposed to be that tight and I know you know how good you look so don’t try to act like you don’t.”

“Why, Lucas!” Calum simpered batting his eyelashes.  “Are you hitting on me?”

“With an ass like that how could I stop myself?” Luke wiggled his eyebrows with alarming dexterity.

“Oh, you like what you see?” Calum gave an exaggerated purr turning to give Luke a better view.  

A crash drew both of their attention back to the store.  The source was easy enough to identify; there not forty feet from them, halfway sprawled across the clearance sweater display, was a very red-faced Ashton.

“Sorry, sorry!” Ashton apologized to the sales clerk who was trying to assist him.  He hurriedly disentangled himself from the onslaught of clothing.   

Calum let out a snort before he could stop himself, immediately drawing both Luke and Ashton’s eyes towards him.  Ashton’s expression read something close to “We’re even now” while Luke’s held suspicion.  

“Do you know him?” Luke asked, looking back and forth between them.  

Calum didn’t answer right away.  Instead he watched as Ashton blindly reached for one of the sweaters the clerk was still holding and made his way towards the dressing room.  He didn’t break eye contact as he made his way towards Calum, brushing by him so closely if Calum had been able to take a breath they would have touched.  And then he was past him, the faint hint of his cologne lingering behind to tease Calum.  Ashton paused as he reached an open stall, looking back at Calum smirking.  Calum felt the heat of Ashton’s inspection as his eyes slowly traveled up and down Calum’s body, like fire everywhere it landed.

Calum’s gulp was so loud even Luke heard it from where he still sat waiting.

“What the hell was that about, Calum?” Luke asked. Calum turned back to face him, consciously giving Ashton an even better view.  He didn’t like the look on Luke’s face, like he knew exactly what Calum was thinking and didn’t approve.  

“Nothing,” Calum forced a smile.  “I’m going to die if I don’t get out of these tourniquets you forced me into.  Wanna go get something to eat?”

Without waiting for a reply Calum walked back to his changing room.  

“Fine,” Luke laughed, graciously letting his questions be dropped. “But I get to pick.”

“Like hell you do!” Calum yelled back indignantly. “You always pick Chinese. I’ve had Chinese every day since you’ve been back.”

“You’re welcome?” Luke shot back.

Calum groaned, knowing the cause was already lost.  Arguing with Luke was almost always pointless and he had to pick his battles.  He managed to peel the skinny jeans down to his hips before things got difficult. Grunting and wiggling his hips he managed to get them past his ass. By the time he got them down his thighs it became a full on struggle.  He lost his balance, falling into the thin dressing room wall with a thud, still trying to free himself.  Another attempt and he landed on the dressing room floor, ass instantly sore from the impact.  He could hear laughing in either direction; Ashton from his changing room and Luke from the waiting area.  

With a pout, Calum managed to get the jeans off before he stood back up.  He slid his shorts back on with a sense of relief, reveling in the loose comfort of them. He still picked up the wad of jeans off the floor, there was no way he was not buying them; and maybe a pair in black as well.  When he opened his door he couldn’t help but glance back where Ashton stood outside his changing room, clearly struggling not to laugh.  

Calum attempted a scowl, fighting a smile himself.  

“Nice sweater,” He said with a nod.  Ashton looked down at the sweater, apparently for the first time.  It was a dull beige with row after row of lime green lizards splashed across it.  His smile grew even wider, apparent even in his eyes.

“Thanks,” Ashton said it like he meant it.  Calum scoffed, joining Luke back in the store.  

“So?” Luke prompted as they made their way towards the food court.  Calum didn’t reply, kept on walking towards the counter for Chinese food, giving his and Luke’s order before Luke could finish.  No sooner than he’d paid had Luke started in again, determined not to let the subject change this time.

“So, who was that guy? The lizard one.” He asked.  Calum nearly dropped their food and barked out a laugh at that.  Ashton would probably think it was hilarious Calum’s friends knew him as “the lizard guy”.  Calum really hoped he’d bought the sweater.  He recovered by the time they sat down at an open table.  

“That’s Ashton. My new neighbor,” He added when Luke looked at him expectantly.  “Him and his son moved into the house next door to us back in like, April I think.”

“And you two know each other pretty well?” Luke asked.

“Yeah. Well- no, not really. We know each other but not like, really well or anything.” Calum replied.

“Wait, son? He has a son? How old is he? Is he married?” Luke focused in on the detail Calum had hoped to gloss over.

“He’s single,” Calum defended himself. “And he’s not that much older than us. His son is really young; maybe four or five? Ashton can’t be any older than twenty four. Twenty five tops.”

Luke nodded slowly, starting to eat.  Now that Luke had brought it up Calum felt defensive.  He wanted Luke to say it was okay, what he wanted with Ashton.  Calum began to eat too waiting for Luke to say something else.  The minutes passed by in a slow silence. Finally Calum spoke up.

“You’re judging me, aren’t you?” Calum asked.

Luke took his time chewing what was in his mouth, buying himself time.

“I’m not judging you,” Luke replied honestly. “I just don’t think it’s a good idea.  I don’t see this working out in a way where you don’t get hurt.  You already like him, no don’t try to argue with me, I can tell from the way you talk about him.  You’re just at two different points in your life.  In a few months you’re going to be starting Uni and he’s still going to be here with his son.  He’s settled down and you’re going to be the complete opposite.  I just don’t think whatever you all have going on is going to work out.”  Luke had the decency to look appropriately apologetic.

Calum nodded, taking in Luke’s words of caution.  Behind Luke, just a few tables back Ashton sat down with his own tray of food throwing Calum a wink.  Calum’s face immediately brightened, smile impossible to stop.  Luke turned around to see what Calum was looking at and sighed.  

“You’re going to go for it anyways, aren’t you?” He turned back to Calum.

“Yeah, I am,” Calum was still looking at Ashton. “Sorry.”

“I hope I’m wrong,” Luke mumbled into his food.

“I hope so too,” Calum agreed. “I really, really do.” 


	9. October

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is where the explicit rating comes into play. just a warning!

 

When Calum stepped out into the warm spring breeze from the stuffiness of the pizzeria he had only two things on his mind: Ashton Irwin and a cold shower.  He lifted his shirt up at the shoulders in a vain attempt to cool his damp skin.  After a moment he gave up, letting the shirt cling back to his torso. He ducked around the side of the building, palms scraping against brick as he leaned back against it.  He leaned forward again to fish out a pack of cigarettes before relaxing again.  He balanced it between his teeth, mouth already watering slightly as he lit it, taking in a deep breath before letting the smoke roll off his tongue.  He watched it fade into the late evening sky with a lazy fascination.

 

He wondered if Ashton liked to smoke.  Or if he’d mind if Calum did.  Ashton would look ridiculously hot smoking, Calum decided.  Calum admitted to himself the idea of Ashton’s lips wrapped around just about anything was hot.  His thoughts progressed towards the idea of Ashton on his knees in front of Calum, mouth wide open and waiting. Once again his mind had fallen into  _ The Cycle _ , as he’d begun to call it.  It was a bit like six degrees of separation, except everything related back to Ashton.  No matter what the subject his mind was easily sucked into The Cycle and within six jumps he was being mentally pounded by Ashton into the mattress.  Or against a wall.  Or any available surface Calum could imagine.

 

He felt it was justifiable now that he and Ashton definitely had some level of a “thing” going on.  For the past three weeks almost every night Ashton had either seen Calum naked in his bedroom or had ordered a pizza so he could get Calum face to face and tease him.  A slow dreamy smile took over Calum’s expression as he remembered a night the week before, his and Ashton’s first kiss.  

 

_ He’d stood on Ashton’s doorstep far longer than he should’ve while on the clock; the absence of his parents next door making him braver than he normally would be.  His banter with Ashton hadn’t been any different than the nights before; nothing he said or did really stood out; but then something had changed in Ashton.  His eyes were glued to Calum’s mouth and then suddenly Ashton’s fist was gripping his shirt, wrinkling it without a doubt, and pulling him inside.  The door was still open as Ashton pushed him against the wall of the entryway and molded himself against Calum and kissed him.  Calum didn’t know how long the kiss lasted; minutes, or seconds, or eons; but he knew he felt the world shift the moment Ashton’s lips met his. _

 

Calum’s memories took a sudden shift, the incident from three nights later forcing its way to the front of his mind.

 

_ Calum stood with his back turned to the open window, aware of Ashton sitting at his desk across the way. _

 

The need for a cold shower surfaced again, driving Calum to flick away the stub of his cigarette and head towards home.  The drive home cooled him off a bit; the breeze on his skin serving as a distraction; but the warm buzz of arousal started to build deep in Calum’s gut again the moment he stepped in his room. After a long night of delivering pizzas he was eager to get his clothes off and unwind. He stripped off his shirt almost as soon as the door closed behind him. His hat was knocked off, rolling under his bed. Calum yawned as the day caught up with him, scrunching up his eyes with it. When they opened again he noticed Ashton’s light on next door.

He tried to ignore everything else, to act natural as he slipped off his jeans and headed to the bathroom. He took his time in the shower, making an effort to control himself. It was torture, taking the time to rinse and lather while he knew Ashton was in his room. At such a late hour on a weeknight there wasn’t a chance of his son being awake; Ashton had to be alone in his bedroom. Calum thought about all the different ways it could play out. Maybe Ashton was just asleep on his bed, glasses askew as he snored over the book he’d been reading when he drifted off. Perhaps he was lying on his bed palming himself through his boxers waiting for Calum to appear again. He hummed along to a song he’d long forgotten the words to as he stepped out from under the water, thoughts racing as he dried off.

He considered the towel in his hand before opting to discard it, striding out into his room with confidence. He didn’t dare look to see if Ashton’s light was still on, if he was watching. He took his time tidying up around his room, sparing a moment to lock the door before settling down on his bed. He risked a glance up to find Ashton at his desk, eyes glued to the window rather than the papers in front of him.  Calum’s already excited cock felt heavy with the knowledge that Ashton’s focus was totally on him.

A delicious, electric shock raced through Calum’s body thinking about what to do next.  It was almost as if he was on autopilot-- like decisions were being made in some distant, far-off part of his brain-- and his body had steered itself to his bed.  His dick lay hard and heavy against his tummy, giving an occasional twitch; begging for attention.  He hesitated a moment; the cool slide of the sheet under him chilling his overheated body.  Calum looked at Ashton again and held his breath.  He was waiting for something, though he wasn’t entirely certain what. From his room Ashton gave him a thumbs up and a dorky, totally out of context encouraging grin and suddenly everything was right. Calum's sigh was shaky as he propped himself up on the bed, eyes closed tight as he let a hand slide down his chest, teasing his nipples as he felt the weight of Ashton’s stare on him. He felt so dirty and wrong and it only turned him on more. His cock twitched again, leaving a little trail of slick from thinking about Ashton in the room with him; standing over him and calling him a pretty little slut. Calum gave a little cry at that, needing some sort of relief.

Calum finally gave in, wrapping a hand around his neglected cock and stroking himself.  After a moment he paused, grabbed the lube in his bedside drawer and poured a generous amount in his right hand before starting up again. He had every intention of keeping it slow; sensual and sexy even.  Real paid-for-porn quality.  But then he thought about how this was real, how Ashton was watching him in real time and his careful rhythm sped up. Calum let his imagination take over again, thinking of Ashton calling him a dirty boy, so desperate for his attention, so desperate to come. He thought about Ashton setting rules for him, telling Calum he couldn’t come until he said, until Ashton allowed him. Thought about Ashton punishing him if he did something wrong; about him making Calum rut against his thighs as Ashton spanked him.

When he felt something starting to build low in his gut Calum forced himself to stop, hands locked in a death grip in the sheets.  His hips were rocking against the bed in a stuttering, desperate motion.  Everything in him screaming for relief.  When the feeling abated he carefully started up again, determined to be in control.  He let it build slower this time, until every nerve in his body was white hot and he couldn’t take it.  His throat felt thick with the pleasure of it all, like he was actually drowning in ecstasy.  Calum briefly wondered if anyone had actually died from feeling too good.  

His orgasm took him by surprise, ripping through him suddenly, arching up off the bed with the intensity of it.  Hot cum shot across his stomach; spilled over his hand.  He stroked himself through it mindlessly, his brain filled with a thick white fog of absolute pleasure.  When he came back into his head he realized he was staring at his mattress instead of the ceiling.  At some point he’d rolled over.  

_ Well, at least Ashton’s getting a good view of my ass.  _  Calum thought.  Thinking of Ashton Calum was able to roll over a bit, just enough to get a good view of the window.  Ashton was still sat there, the heavy rise and fall of his shoulders making it quite clear calum hadn’t been the only one touching himself.  A feeling of pride washed over him, giving him a second wind.  He sat up, bouncing a bit with a smile.  A nagging little voice in his mind told him to tone it down and act a little more like a sex god and less like a golden retriever.  He shook the voice away but got up, doubled back to grab a tissue to clean himself up and turned out the light.


	10. November: Part One

November rolled around faster than Calum had anticipated. Spring was in with full force and preparations for his parent’s annual neighborhood barbeque were well under way. He couldn’t help but think about how much things had changed in the past few months as he made his way towards Ashton’s house. He weaved through the yard warily dodging scattered toys, left hand wrapped protectively around the other wrist remembering the rather unfortunate fall he’d taken months before.

A host of butterflies seemed to have made a home in Calum’s stomach.  Somehow every time he was near Ashton, or about to be near Ashton, they made their presence known. Invitation in hand he bounced up the last few steps and tried to force the goofy grin off his face. Slightly more composed he knocked on the door; knuckles stinging a bit from the contact. He pushed his fist up to his lips in a childish attempt to make the dull pain go away.

Whatever words he had prepared disappeared as soon as the door opened, revealing a very wet Ashton. Calum’s mouth hung open a bit as he took in his neighbor’s appearance. Sweatpants rode low on his hips, his torso was completely exposed and glistening as the water from his hair dripped down on it.

“Sorry,” Ashton apologized, his smirk dimpling his cheek. “I was taking advantage of a few hours alone to get in a long shower.”

“No you’re fine,” Calum found his mouth moving before his brain had caught up. “No dude-I mean its fine bro. It’s all good. Everything is alright.” Calum’s cheeks went red at Ashton’s laugh. “I just mean- its okay. It’s not like I was in a hurry or that I mind seeing you like this I was the one who interrupted you I can come back later actually if you want?”

“Calum,” Ashton shook his head. Calum tried not to drool as he watched the water dripping down over Ashton’s pecs. “Slow down, it’s okay.”

“Cool, yeah,” Calum feigned nonchalance, narrowly avoiding licking his lips when a droplet of water trailed around Ashton’s perfect, perky nipples.  A brief half-formed thought about licking the water off Ashton caught his attention.

“Not that I don’t enjoy seeing you, but did you come over for a reason? Did you decide take me up on my offer for a movie night after all? If so I’m afraid it’s gonna have to be something PG and animated. I’ve gotta pick Cash up from my mom’s house in about an hour.”

“Nah, I can’t today,” Calum replied. “My parents actually have this big neighborhood ‘It’s Almost Summer’ barbeque every spring. It’s kind of a big deal and I’m gonna be spending the rest of the morning setting up and trying to keep my dad from doing anything that’d piss my mom off.”

“Oh,” Ashton’s face dropped a bit. “That’s cool. No worries then. Hey, I’ve still got your mom’s casserole dish from when we first moved in. Do you wanna come in and get it? In case she needs it today, or whatever.”

Calum hesitated; feeling like this was somehow a big moment.  Ashton had pulled him just inside the doorway from time to time to makeout, but that was something different.  That had been hot and dirty and in the dark and made him feel like he belonged in the dirty mistress club.  Which he liked, without a doubt.  But this was nice too.  Ashton inviting him into his home in the daylight was bright and shiny.  Nice.  It was definitely a moment.

“You don’t have to,” Ashton assured him taking a step back into the house. "I can run and get it but it might take a second. I didn’t wanna leave you out in the heat.”

“No, it’s fine,” Calum knew he’d made the right decision when Ashton’s face lit up again. He wordlessly followed Ashton into the house. His lagged behind a bit as he appraised the house.  Everything looked so much different in the light of day. The front hall was lined with pictures of Ashton and Cash throughout the years. Calum smiled as he passed them; pictures of Ashton pushing Cash on a swing, Ashton’s high school graduation, a younger Cash sitting on his dad’s shoulders as he put a star atop the Christmas Tree.

“That was our last Christmas in New York.”  Ashton commented just over his shoulder.

Calum jumped, not realizing he’d stopped in front of the picture until Ashton was standing behind him. Calum’s heart picked up at their proximity, it was like he could feel the heat of Ashton’s body in the little bit of space between them.

“It’s a great picture,” Calum tried to play it cool. He almost choked when Ashton’s hand rested on his hip. The weight of it was solid and hot and sent shivers up his spine.  Maybe the dirty mistress club wasn’t as far behind him as he’d thought.  

“If you look right here,” Ashton’s other hand moved to point at the picture. “You can see the fishing wire tied to the top of the tree. And right there,” Ashton leaned into him as he gestured to another part of the picture, “is the nail in the wall it’s connected to. Couldn’t get the damn thing to stand up straight so I tied it to the wall.”

Calum thought he’d pass out when he felt the vibrations of Ashton’s laugh against his back. Even when Ashton pulled away the weight of his presence clung to Calum like a physical thing. He tried to shake it off. He’d jerked off in front of Ashton on more than one occasion now; feeling his hand brush against his hip or his chest leaned against Calum’s back shouldn’t get him worked up so easy.

“Um, where’d you say the dish was?” Calum was proud he still remembered how to speak.

“Oh, yeah,” Ashton sounded like he’d forgotten all about it. “It’s in the kitchen. Follow me.”

Calum nodded and tried not to stare at the flex of muscles in Ashton’s back as he walked. His attention was diverted when Ashton bent over to dig in one of the lower cabinets. His eyes were glued to the curve of Ashton’s ass, wondering if it was as pretty as he’d imagined.

“Here it is,” Ashton announced, dish in hand as he stood up. “Tell your mom thanks again from Cash and I, if you don’t mind.”

 “You could just tell her yourself at the barbeque.”  Calum replied.

“Oh!” Ashton brightened. Calum shook himself when he started comparing Ashton to a sunrise. “I didn’t realize I was invited. Yeah, I’ll just tell her then. You’ll be there, right?”

“Yeah, my mom would kill me if I ditched,” Calum laughed. “Make sure you bring Cash too, I think there would be a riot if you didn’t bring him along.”

“Yeah,” Ashton nodded enthusiastically. “I’ll be there; I mean- we’ll be there. We’ll see you there!”

“Sounds good,” Calum tried to reason with the blush threatening to creep up on him, pleading for it to calm down and handed Ashton the invitation. “See you this afternoon, then!”  

Calum tried to keep his focus on not tripping over himself on the way back rather than on the way Ashton made his heart feel like it was planning on actually jumping out of his chest.  From the moment he stepped into his own house he was put to work by his mom, the entire household in a constant state of motion that kept his mind from wandering farther than the task at hand.  In what seemed to be a blink of an eye the backyard was filled with neighbors and the annual barbeque was underway.

“Son, bring out some more ice!”  His mother called from outside.

Calum sighed reluctant about leaving his hiding spot in the kitchen to answer his mother's call. He stuck his head in the freezer for a moment enjoying the chills it sent down his body. He didn’t want to go out into the heat again.  He didn’t see much point in it as Ashton hadn’t arrived yet.  But his mother wasn’t a force to mess with, so he grabbed another bag of ice. He shaded his eyes from the bright sun as he made his way to the backyard.

“What are you pouting about now, squirt?” His sister asked stealing the bag of ice from his hand and sweeping past him to give it to their mother, earning a smile and kiss on the forehead from her that should’ve been Calum’s.

“I’m not pouting; and I didn’t need your help Mali.” Calum crossed his arms and sank down in one of the few empty lawn chairs.

“Pouty and moody?” Mali-Koa assessed grabbing them both a beer. “So who is it?”

“I don’t know what you’re on about,” Calum’s response was slightly less tense as guilt for misdirecting his emotions edged in.

“You’re mopey and all but volatile. You’ve got a crush; and I’d bet it’s a massive one by the size of the rain cloud hanging over your head.”

“I don’t-,” Calum set up straight. “How could you possibly know that?”

“Because I’m your big sister; I know these things. It’s my job. Also you’re really easy to read. So, spill.”  Mali crossed her arms and waited expectantly.

“Shouldn’t you be on tour right now? What will the world do without _the soulful crooning of Australia’s sweetheart_?” Calum avoided answering.

“You read that article too, then?” Mali’s excitement bled through the nonchalant facade she was trying to maintain. Calum gave himself a mental high-five for the success of his distraction. “In _Wandering Stone_ , no less. Fucking sick, innit?”

Calum smirked and clinked his beer with hers before taking a sip.

“’Course I did. I read all the articles about my super-star sis. I’m a bit proud of you; don’t tell anyone though.” Even if it was a distraction what he said was true.  He kept every article he’d ever found about Mali since her first public performance until her most recent spread in arguably The Music Magazine.  Calum thought it was a bit shit as far as journalism went in all honestly and didn’t trust them, but they’d said nice things about his sister’s album he’d give them a pass.

“But, you’re not getting out of it that easy baby bro. Who is it that’s got you this worked up?”

Calum frowned, sensing defeat.

“Ashton, dear! So glad you can make it!” Calum’s mother’s voice startled him into nearly spilling his drink all over himself.

“Ah, now it all makes sense.” His sister appraised the new arrival with a critical eye. “You were worried lover boy wouldn’t show up?”

“It’s not like that-” Calum’s cheeks flushed at her implication. “Ashton and I, we’re not a Thing. We just- we haven’t even…We’ve barely even talked.” Calum left out the sordid details about masturbating in front of the neighbor; rightfully assuming there wasn’t a right way to bring it up.

“Aww,” Mali reached over attempting to pinch his cheek before he could duck away. “You’ve got the hots for the dad next door! This is precious.”

“Hey, he’s barely older than us.  Actually he might be your age.  You make it sound dirty.”  Calum scoffed.

“So what’s stopping you? Is he married? Not interested in dudes?”  Mali pestered.

“No he’s not married, and I’m pretty sure he’s into dudes. It’s just… he makes me really nervous; I almost always make a fool of myself around him.”  Calum admitted, watching a small crowd form around Ashton and a bashful Cash who was clinging to his dad’s leg.

“Calum,” She patted his knee with far more sympathy than Calum would like. He watched Ashton try to keep an eye on Cash, who was being pulled by the other neighborhood kids into their game of soccer. “I can’t believe I even have to say this. You’re hot Calum; guys and girls have drooled over you for years now. You don’t get intimidated by anyone. You need to get your arse up and go make a pass at lover boy before I go and do it myself.”

Before Mali-Koa could lecture him further he got up out of his chair.  The crowd around Ashton had thankfully thinned.

“Hey, Ashton!” Calum smiled walking to greet him, picking up a beer along the way. Calum almost marveled at how much more at ease he felt in his own yard, surrounded by his family and their friends. Normally when he saw Ashton face-to-face his stomach would flip and he’d be so nervous he’d feel sick with it. But on his own turf with his sister’s words of encouragement ringing in his ears he felt excitement taking the place of nerves.

“Hey,” Ashton gave him a wink and reached for the offered beer. Calum shivered as their fingers brushed. So the nerves weren’t gone then, but he had enough confidence flowing through him to cover it up.

“Didn’t think you were gonna show,” Calum tried his best to act nonchalant.

“Well you did imply there would be hell to pay if we didn’t make an appearance.” Ashton raised an eyebrow as Calum took far too sensual a swig from his bottle to be innocent. Calum acted like he didn’t feel Ashton’s eyes on him, taking his time sliding his lips off the cool glass.  

“Oh, there would’ve been.” Calum reassured him, feeling victorious when he saw Ashton’s eyes still focused on his lips.

Ashton’s diverted his attention at the sound of Cash's name. He watched with dread as Cash attempted to kick the ball in front of him, only to fall down after he missed. Ashton relaxed as Cash bounced back up with a pat on the back from one of the older kids and got back in the game.

“You know, with a coach like you you’d think he’d be dominating the game right now.” Calum didn’t risk more than a glance out of the corner of his eye. The look on Ashton’s shocked face was more than enough reward for the risky comment.

“You’ve been watching me!” Ashton sputtered turning an accusing stare toward Calum.

“Well you’ve been watching me for a while now so I thought I’d try it out. See what they appeal was.” Calum smirked.

“Did you like what you saw then?” Ashton asked. Calum was well aware of the waves of sexual tension rising between them. He decided to take the bait.

“It was alright,” Calum tried to hold back a smile. “I don’t think we’re quite even though.” He risked a lingering gaze down Ashton’s body.

Ashton’s eyes widened at Calum’s words, struck dumb. Soon he recovered though and reached out to touch Calum, fingers just resting against Calum's side.

“Did you want to be? Even? I didn’t know if it was just- If you just liked what we were doing or if you wanted more.”

Calum felt the butterflies in his tummy wake as Ashton spoke.

“Yeah I… What we’re doing is fine but I want more. If you want more.” Calum wavered between shy and daring.

“God, yes,” Ashton’s eyes closed with emphasis. “What do you-“

Calum cut him off and leaned forward in another burst of confidence. He crowded in just close enough to not draw attention to them. “Want you to touch me. I’ve thought about it every time you were watching me. I’d imagine it was your hands on me instead of my own.”

Ashton covered his moan with a cough. He took a moment before he replied.

“Are you sure you want this?” Ashton’s face was serious as he searched for any signs of hesitance.

“I’m positive. I’m going to the bathroom now. Wait two minutes and then follow.” Calum was almost positive he was having an out of body experience.

“What?” Ashton whispered. “You wanna do this right now?”

“Did you wanna wait?” Calum asked.

Ashton rolled his eyes. “I’ll be behind you in two minutes.”

Calum’s heart was threatening to pound out of his chest as his body went on autopilot, steering him to the bathroom. He focused on taking deep breaths as he fixed his hair in the mirror, taming the shaggy mane into something a little more presentable. Far too soon and not nearly fast enough Ashton was slipping in the room, locking the door behind him, looking at Calum like a lioness about to take down a gazelle. Before Calum could open his mouth Ashton was on him; crowding into his space and pushing him up against the wall.  Everything was touching; Ashton’s strong thigh in between his legs, hips pressed together, chests pushing hard against each other as their hurried breaths pushed against each other.

Calum felt like he was on fire when Ashton’s lips met his for the first time. He felt fireworks exploding behind his eyes as he struggled to keep up, to give as good as he was getting. He let his hands slip down over the curve of Ashton’s back, fisting Ashton’s shirt and tugging, trying to get it off.

Ashton relented, backing away to wiggle out of it before his lips were back on Calum’s again. Calum was overwhelmed in the best way. Without even realizing how it happened, Calum was standing in his boxers in his parent’s guest bathroom with his hot half-clothed neighbor leaving hickies on his neck. Calum moaned as Ashton nipped at his collarbones, teeth leaving beautiful stinging marks that would be hard, if not impossible, to hide later.  Calum groaned at the thought of it.  He wanted people to see.  He stopped breathing as Ashton dipped lower, mouth sliding over Calum’s nipples.

“You’re always touching them when you get off,” Ashton sounded like he was about as far gone as Calum. “I knew they’d be sensitive but- God, you’re so receptive.” Ashton panted.

Calum held his breath as he tried not to shove Ashton’s hands down his pants.  He managed, but only barely.

“Speaking of getting off...” Calum casually nodded down to where his cock was straining against his underwear in the most obscene way.

“So impatient,” Ashton reprimanded, teasing his fingers under the waistband of Calum’s boxers and slowly rolling them down his thighs. Any retort Calum might’ve come back with died on his tongue as Ashton wrapped his hand around Calum’s cock.

“Jesus Christ,” Calum hissed throwing his head back, hitting the wall with a thud.

“That good already?” Ashton smirked. “Would you say it feels… heavenly?”

“Oh my god,” Calum half groaned. “You’re awful. You’re not making jokes with my dick in your hand. That’s not happening.”

Ashton giggled. Calum thought it might be weird to think the guy giving him a handjob was adorable.

“You’re even prettier up close,” Ashton said so low Calum almost didn’t catch it. “Do you like being dirty like this for everyone?” Ashton asked louder. “Do you let everyone have their way with you like this?”

“No,” Calum shook his head, emphatic. “Just you Ash; just for you.”

“You’re so naughty for me, aren’t you, babe? Fucking filthy.”

Ashton felt Calum’s moans reverberating against his lips as he leaned in to recapture Calum’s.  Calum realized he was clinging to Ashton, fingers digging into Ashton’s arm in a way that couldn’t possibly be comfortable.  But Ashton didn’t complain and Calum had forgotten his observation as Ashton’s thumb grazed over the tip of his dick.

“We don’t have much time,” Calum gasped pulling away and leaning his forehead against Ashton’s, watching Ashton jerk him off. He thought his cock had never looked prettier than now; with Ashton’s fist wrapped around it, pink head peeking out, shiny with precome.

“You gonna come for me then?” Ashton asked twisting his hand on the upstroke, making Calum feel dizzy. “Are you gonna come all over my hand? I know you want to, babe, come for me.”

Calum loved nothing more than being told what to do.  He might like rebelling against it at first but being compliant and pleasing made his chest swell up with pride.  He wanted Ashton to feel like that too, proud.  He wanted to make Ashton think he was a good boy, someone to be proud of.  He could feel his orgasm building this time, quick.  His toes curled in anticipation, almost there.  Ashton placed a soft, barely formed kiss on Calum’s shoulder; more like resting his lips on it; and Calum was gone. With his mouth opened in a silent groan and eyes closed tight he came all over Ashton’s fist, even managing it get a bit on Ashton’s stomach. Ashton smirked as he leaned down to wipe it away, washing his hands and scrounging around for his shirt.

“God you’re ridiculously hot,” Ashton shook his head as he watched a wobbly Calum attempting to pull his boxers up. Ashton’s own dick throbbed as he watched Calum’s cock twitching in the aftershock of his orgasm.

“Don’t you want me to get you off now?” Calum was confused as Ashton helped him get dressed.

“We’ve been away for too long; don’t want anyone getting suspicious. How about next time you can get even?”  Ashton suggested.

Calum’s head was reeling, trying to process that this wasn’t a onetime occurrence.  There would be a next time.

“Yeah alright,” Calum nodded, distracted. _There would be a next time._

Ashton gave him a fond smile, pulled him in for another kiss.

“To be continued,” Ashton wiggled his eyebrows, setting Calum’s heart a flutter as Ashton slid out of the bathroom. Calum stared at himself in the mirror in wonder, Ashton’s words bouncing around in his head like a dream. 


	11. November: Part Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mature Warning

Two weeks passed by with no sign of Ashton. Occasionally he saw Cash playing outside or Ashton’s mom walking to and from the house, but the curtains of Ashton’s room stayed pulled to. The first few days Calum didn’t think much of it. By day three Calum was beginning to worry. Was Ashton sick? Had something happened to him? Day five he started at the window and debated whether to walk up and knock on the door and demand answers. In the end, he decided not to in an effort to not seem clingy. At the end of day seven, he was positively despondent.

“Calum!” His mother's voice called his attention to the dinner table, where without realizing he’d pushed most of his peas off his plate.

“Sorry mom,” He said picking up the spilled vegetables. When he looked up at his parent's worried expressions he felt bad.

“What’s going on with you?” Calum’s dad asked setting his fork down.

“Nothing,” Calum mumbled looking back at his plate. Not for this first time he wished he knew how to keep his tendency toward angst better hidden.

His sister scoffed. Mrs. Hood gave her a look before addressing Calum.

“Something's bothering you.” It wasn’t a question. Calum knew a response would be required anyways.

“Nothing’s bothering me. No, really,” Calum continued talking before his mother could cut in. “I’m just sulking a bit, that’s all. It's nothing major. I promise.” He added.

He could feel three different sets of quizzical eyes on him before his mother broke the silence.

“Well, you do love a good sulk. Alright then, if you’re sure you’re fine we’ll leave you to it. But wrap it up soon, would you? Before your face gets stuck on that broody look.”

Calum resisted the urge to smile and gave his best brooding stare instead. As expected the rest of the table laughed before moving on. Calum gave his meatloaf a subtle but harsh jab. What else could he have told his mother?

“Oh, you know Ashton, from next door? I’ve been jacking off for him while he watches through my window and the day after we hook up for the first time he disappears. And now I’m going crazy wondering if I scared him off or if he’s ever coming back.”

It’s not exactly polite dinner conversation.

So instead he methodically ate his meatloaf and peas and mashed potatoes until his plate was clear and excused himself.

When he entered his room his gaze automatically flickered to Ashton’s window. Still closed. Calum’s shoulders sank. He flopped back onto the bed and stared at the glow in the dark solar system stuck to his ceiling. The faded neon pinks and yellows, a cheap, childlike imitation of space, made him yearn for an open sky and fresh air. Desire drove him to act; he grabbed his guitar and carefully hoisted himself through the bathroom window and up to the flat surface of the roof.

Camping out in his usual spot he laid back, eyes on the cloudless sky and strummed his acoustic. He wasn’t the world best guitarist but he knew enough from being friends with Michael to get by. He plucked a melancholy tune to accompany his sulk. He reminded himself he and Ashton weren’t an item; he wasn’t even sure if Ashton would call him a friend. Ashton wasn’t obligated to tell Calum where he was or what he was doing.

Calum grimaced at the thought. What was he to Ashton? He played scenarios in his head of Ashton forced to introduce him. If they were at a market and Ashton’s mom came up, what would Ashton say?

_“This is my neighbor, Calum”_

or

_“This is my friend, Calum”_

or

_“This is my boyfriend, Calum.”_

His mind latched onto the last option and ran wild. A smile lit up his face and his chord progressions became more cheery. He and Ashton going on dates. Anniversary dinners at fancy restaurants where Ashton giggled as he held Calum’s chair for him and insisted on holding every door for him. Living with Ashton. Waking up in Ashton’s arms. Blowing Ashton in the comfort of a shared home.

By the time he climbed back into his room Calum had finally found perspective. The closed curtains across the way didn’t seem quite so much the enemy. Ashton would be back; of course he’d be back. He had a son and a house waiting for his return. And he’d promised Calum, “to be continued”. Calum was fairly certain Ashton was a man who always kept his promises.

A week later when he woke his new found optimism was rewarded.  He sat up in bed, reluctant, covers sliding to pool around his waist. The muscles in his back pulled when he extended his arms in a stretch, accompanied by a weary yawn. Eyes still shut he wondered why he was awake.  His eyes opened drowsily and Calum immediately realized something was different. Calum scanned the room trying to figure out what had changed.  He grinned when he realized it wasn’t anything in his room that had changed, but rather the view. 

Ashton’s curtains were pulled back, blinds up, and his window was open.  A large suitcase dominated his bed, flung open and clothes draped across it, giving the impression it had recently exploded open.  And there sorting through the wreckage was Ashton.  The sun caught in his curls and Calum thought he was going to burst with happiness. He pushed the covers aside and stepped to his own bedroom window, opening it with more force than intended. Mind still tinged with dreamy wistfulness he leaned forward and placed his arms on the window sill, chin resting on top.

“Long time, no see,” Calum called out and Ashton jumped, spinning around with wide eyes.  Before Calum could regret saying anything Ashton’s surprised expression was replaced by something softer and more pleasant.  Ashton’s smile matched his own. 

“Too long,” Ashton replied. “I missed you.”

Calum’s heart pressed against his chest in an attempt to burst through and land at Ashton’s feet.  Realizing its efforts were in vain it settled for a rapid flutter that made Calum dizzy.  He would have replied in kind if he had trusted his tongue not to betray him.

“Where have you been?” Calum asked instead. “The North Pole?” Calum gave a pointed look in the direction of Ashton's gloves and sweaters.

“Basically,” Ashton chuckled. “I was in New York.”

“New York?” Calum questioned. “What's in New York?”  Of course, Calum knew many things were in New York; the Statue of Liberty, The Empire State Building, hot dog stands.  But he was confused as to what significance New York held for Ashton.

“Divorce court,” Ashton’s smile held but dimmed as he held up his left hand to show Calum the lack of a ring.  “Had to go back and finalize everything.”

“Shit,” Calum apologized, remembering too late the picture in Ashton’s hallway of Cash on Ashton’s shoulders by the Christmas tree and Ashton’s explanation, "That was our last Christmas in New York". “I’m sorry, man.”

“It’s alright,” Ashton assured him. “We’ve been separated for years. It was best for everyone.”  His forced optimism didn’t fool Calum.

“You need a night out,” Calum said surprising himself.  Although he had no idea what would roll off his tongue next it felt right, so he went on.  “We need to get you wasted.” Calum amended, subtly inserting himself into Ashton’s plans lest he get the wrong idea.  Ashton looked unconvinced.

“I can’t. I mean I’d love to, but I’ve got Cash and-” Ashton was cut off.

“I’m sure one more night with your mom wouldn’t hurt.  You know she wouldn’t mind, she clearly worships the ground he walks on.  And you need a night out.” Calum reasoned.  Ashton considered his offer.

“Alright then,” He relented.  “But only if you buy me dinner first.  I am a lady after all.  You have to woo me first.”  Ashton followed up this statement with a giggle and looked up at Calum under rapidly fluttering eyelashes.  Calum resisted rolling his eyes, recognizing Ashton’s actions as something he would do himself.  He was actually jealous he didn’t think to do it first.  Calum quickly took analyzed his financial situation, mentally high-fiving himself when he figured he had enough money to take Ashton out.

“Of course,” Calum said, standing up to bow.  Not until Ashton’s wolf whistle did he remember he was in only his boxers.  His cheeks warmed but with pleasure rather than embarrassment.  He wiggled his eyebrows at Ashton.

“Like what you see?” He asked.

“No,” Ashton deadpanned.  “I hate what I’m seeing.  That’s why I just got hard.  It’s a hate hardon.  Stay right there so I can get in a hateful wank.”

Calum turned to glance at the clock.  The morning had, in fact, already passed him by.

“I’d love to but I have to get ready for work.” Calum’s regretful tone didn’t come across as insincere as intended. 

“That’s a shame,” Ashton tskd. “What time do you get off?  Of work, I mean.”

“Nine,” Calum replied.

“Excellent.  You can pick me up at ten, then.”  Without waiting for an answer Ashton turned back to his packing.  Calum stared at his back for a moment.  Realizing he wasn’t turning around Calum chuckled and went off in search of his uniform.

He would have loved to have thought of something other than Ashton during his shift, but Calum was as much a daydreamer as he was a hopeless romantic.  So by the time he stood at Ashton’s door, five minutes early, he’d had enough time to psych himself out.  As he knocked on Ashton’s door he was half convinced the night would be a failure.  He would do something unforgivable like get drunk and get sick on Ashton’s shoes.  Or even worse.  Nothing catastrophic would happen and things would still end between them.  They’d sit down for dinner and have nothing to talk about or go to a club only to discover they hate the music the other loves and by the end of the night they’d both be vaguely uncomfortable and rush to mutually shut their blinds immediately after the date was over. 

Calum’s fears were forgotten, along with most of his vocabulary, when Ashton opened the door.  Standing in front of Calum was pure temptation, poured into a human form.  How Ashton’s army green button down and skin tight jeans didn’t melt off him, Calum couldn’t say.  The only word he could think of was hot.  Ashton was hot; Calum felt hot looking at him, the night air felt too hot.  Belatedly Calum realized he was probably meant to speak rather than drool all over Ashton’s doorstep.

“Nice glasses,” Calum managed.  Not impressive, but it was a good start.  They were words and they formed a coherent sentence.  The odds were already shifting in his favor.  Ashton giggled.

“I couldn’t find my contacts, so I’m stuck with these geezer goggles,” Ashton said. He stepped past Calum who trailed behind him in a daze toward the car.

“They really suit you,” Calum replied as he slid behind the wheel of his dad’s SUV. “You are a geezer, after all.”

“You're right,” Ashton looked thoughtful.  “Old men like me shouldn’t be out this late.  I should probably just go to bed.”  He pretended to get out of the car.  “Only kidding of course,” He laughed much to Calum’s relief. “I’ve never passed up a free meal and I’m not about to start now.”

Dinner went even better than Calum had dared to hope for.  The conversation flowed easily between them, and although Ashton had many interests that seemed odd to Calum they had so much in common Calum half-worried he was dreaming.  Calum was smiling so hard his cheeks stung as he listened to Ashton talk about his stint as a drummer while they were waiting at the club.  He realized suddenly just how far gone he was for Ashton and how frightening that should be.

He was distracted when Ashton smiled back at him and he noticed dimples. It didn’t matter what he was feeling anyway, he reasoned with himself showing the bouncer his i.d. There’s no chance Ashton was feeling the same way; Calum would just squash the feeling down until he had to deal with it.  The deep thud of the bass rattled out any thoughts other than alcohol. 

“Want a drink?” Ashton shouted to be heard over the music.

“What?” Calum shouted back.  Ashton put a light hand, just barely on Calum’s lower back and leaned in.

“Do you want to get a drink?” Ashton asked again, his words hot against Calum’s ear.  Calum breathed in deep, trying to play it cool even though he felt like he was melting from the inside out.  He nodded, smiled brightly, and bought the first round of drinks.  They stayed near the bar at first, downing their first drink, and second, and then shots. When the bartender placed the fourth in front of them Ashton, who had started bobbing his head to the music after the second drink, yelled out.

“I fucking love this song, man.  We have to dance!”

Calum didn’t have a chance to respond before Ashton and his drink were making their way to the dance floor.   Calum downed the rest of his drink and slammed the empty plastic cup against the bar cracking it in his haste before following. 

The dance floor was packed with people jumping and dancing; their movements against the strobe lights painting a scene of chaos. He lost sight of Ashton almost immediately. Calum moved through the crowd dodging flailing arms and glow sticks looking for him.  He disentangled himself from a bachelorette party intent on dragging him for a dance and finally stopped in the middle of the sea of people, eyes trying to make sense of the mass and find Ashton in it. 

And then as quickly as he had disappeared he was there; a hand on the back of Calum’s neck as he circled to face him with a smirk.  His hand moved up to Calum’s hair threading his fingers through the curls at the base of his skull.  He leaned forward to whisper something in Calum’s ear but got distracted on the way, lips falling on Calum’s neck instead.  Calum let out a heavy sigh, eyes fluttering when Ashton nipped at the skin there. Without realizing it they had started to move with the music.  Ashton pulled back, his smile seductive.  He stared at Calum as their bodies moved to the beat pulling them closer and closer until there was no space left between them. 

Calum’s hand slid down to Ashton’s lower back, not quite holding him but putting enough pressure to let Ashton know what he wanted. Ashton obliged and stayed close, grinding his hips against Calum’s.  Calum hadn’t realized his eyes had closed until they flew open as he felt Ashton turn around.  He was just as close, but now his back was to Calum; his ass pressed just firmly enough against Calum’s crotch to tease him.  Ashton grabbed Calum’s hands and placed them on his hips. Calum tightened his grip and kept moving.

“I want you to fuck me,” Calum heard himself telling Ashton.  He almost didn’t recognize his own voice, hoarse and low and ragged with want. 

Everything slowed down then, and Calum felt like he was in a movie.  The music seemed distant now, and it was as if everyone else around them had disappeared.  It was just Ashton there with him; looking up at him with wide eyes.  He looked prettier than Calum had remembered ever seeing him under the flashing colorful lights. He was sweaty from dancing, his hair was slightly disheveled, and his face was flushed.  If Calum hadn’t been with him all night he’d say it looked like Ashton had already been fucked. 

“You sure?”  Ashton asked drawing Calum out of his head. Calum nodded solemn but eager. And then Ashton was surging up, pulling Calum in for another kiss. They moved outside to catch a cab, opting to leave Calum’s car behind until they were sober enough to retrieve it, kissing all the while.  It seemed like only a minute later when Calum broke apart to catch his breath that they were getting out of the cab and then walking up the stairs to Ashton’s bedroom.

It was odd, seeing Ashton’s room from this perspective.  His eyes wandered over to the window and blushed when he saw just how good of a view Ashton had of his room.  He didn’t feel embarrassed, though, only excited.  His attention was drawn back to Ashton who stared at him as he pulled at the back of his own shirt to take it off in one swift movement.  The intense expression Ashton wore made Calum hot all over.  He felt a certain kinship with a gazelle under a lion’s stare.  But prey had never been as willing to be caught as Calum was.  He slid out of his own shirt, thrilled at the way Ashton’s gaze shifted over his bare torso.

“Come here,” There was a scratch in Ashton’s voice that made Calum’s knees go weak. 

He walked over to where Ashton stood at the foot of the bed moving in so closely their foreheads were pressed together.  Ashton tilted his head up and pressed his lips to Calum’s, soft and hesitant before pulling back slightly. Their eyes locked reading each other’s mutual desire, and then they were rushing into another kiss.  It was consuming; Calum felt absolutely certain in that moment with his eyes shut that the world began and ended on Ashton’s lips.

Ashton slid his hand up the back of Calum’s neck slowly and tangled in his fingers in Calum’s curls and pulled gently.  Calum furrowed his eyebrows and moaned into Ashton’s mouth. His hands found their way to Ashton’s waist and pulled him closer.  When their hips were flush against each other and Calum felt the bulge of Ashton’s hard cock through his jeans pressed against him Calum forgot to hold himself up and caused Ashton to stumble back onto the bed pulling Calum down with him. 

Ashton wasted no time rolling them so that he was on top, straddling Calum and looking down at him with a wolfish grin.  He ducked down kissing Calum so thoroughly he felt dizzy.  It was so distracting later he wouldn’t be able to recall exactly how they had gotten fully undressed; one minute they were clothed and the next there was nothing but the tingle of pleasure of skin on skin.  Ashton ran his thumb over Calum’s swollen lips, staring at them. Calum unconsciously traced his tongue where his thumb had been.

“Please,” Calum asked in a hoarse whisper. 

“What do you want?” Ashton asked.  Calum was almost positive Ashton knew exactly what he wanted.  Unable to voice it Calum grabbed Ashton’s hand and led his grasp down to his cock.

“I need you,” Calum pleaded looking down at Ashton’s hand wrapping around his cock.  “I feel like I’m going to die if you don’t fuck me soon.”

“Okay,” Ashton replied. “It’s alright. I’ll take care of you.”

Calum surrendered himself then, trusting Ashton.  He withered and moaned as Ashton stroked him with one hand and opened him up with the other.  Each kiss he left on Calum’s hips and stomach left a heavy mark.  Calum was fairly certain he’d feel the weight of Ashton’s kisses on his body for the rest of time.  His musings were interrupted when Ashton’s fingers left him.  Calum’s gaze was slow to locate Ashton, his mind foggy with lust.  He was on his knees in between the spread of Calum’s legs sliding on a condom before generously coating himself with the same lube he’d used on Calum.   A moment later he was asking for Calum’s permission before sinking into him.  Calum’s eyes went wide before fluttering shut.

“Is that okay?” Ashton asked, barely moving inside him.  Calum nodded in response, unable to speak.  Inevitably Ashton felt much larger inside him than he had expected and Calum’s breaths were short and shallow as he adjusted. Moments later the discomfort gave way to pleasure and Ashton moved more freely.  Calum opened his eyes and stared up at Ashton.  He was beautiful from this angle; his loose curls hanging down to frame his face.  His mouth was open slightly like he was concentrating intently and his skin was glistening with sweat like golden Achilles returned from battle. 

It stirred something deeply primal in Calum and sent him rising up to meet Ashton’s thrust and nip at the skin just below Ashton’s collarbones. Ashton growled in response.

“Did you,” Calum asked, “did you just growl at me?”

“Shut up,” Ashton’s cheeks were pink.

“It’s alright,” Calum teased breathlessly. “You’re an animal; I like it.”

Rather than replying Ashton adjusted his stroke, managing to get the perfect angle that made Calum melt until he was a babbling puddle of need.

“I can’t,” Calum gasped. “I need you to; I need to…”

Ashton shifted his weight to one forearm hovering over Calum and used his free hand to stroke Calum’s cock in time with his thrusts.  Calum watched his movements slack-jawed.  Ashton’s hand looked so delicate wrapped around him, belying the firm hold he had on Calum’s cock.  Watching the tip of it disappearing in Ashton’s grip only amplified the echo of need that coursed through his body.  He was hot all over, chest rising and falling with his pants, and his whole body tense as he teetered on the edge.  And then he was coming, his mind going blank as he watched himself spill over Ashton’s fist. 

He looked up at Ashton coming apart overtop him and felt as though he was seeing everything clearly for the first time.  Everything was bright, sharp in its clarity.   He was in love with Ashton.  It was too soon and they didn’t know each other well enough but in that moment Calum didn’t care.  He was head over heels in love with Ashton and it felt incredible.  When Ashton finished and lay panting on top of him Calum traced the contours of his back, contented.  Eventually, Ashton sighed rolling off of him.  He stared at Calum for a long while, lost in his own thoughts until he broke into a wide, bright smile. 

“Hold me?” Ashton asked as he rolled onto his side.  Calum was thrown off, not having pegged Ashton for a little spoon, but complied - wiggling across the wrinkled sheets and sliding up behind him.  His heart beat with an almost painful ache as he breathed in deep against Ashton’s neck.  Only in that sleepy state could he fully admit to himself just how hard he was falling.

  
  



End file.
